Growing up in the 'Hood

Thoughts, Ideas, Aphorisms & Dreams from the Ghettos of my mind

Thursday, April 08, 2021

 

And this is it this is the way it goes down and its money and money and money

If I buy this can I still pay for that and if I buy that will this get paid and its pressure and

It keeps building never lets up never takes its boot off of your broken back your broken bank and it

Grinds away day to day we toil and traverse and worry about inanities and our insecurities can only be

Secreted away for so long and it isn’t the end until it’s the end and we are all here witnessing these

Apocalyptic platitudes as the president dies cuz the presidency is dead and it’s all there in the book

this long-lost scripture and we read it for guidance for signs for some vain attempt at alleviation

From all this madness we lift our heads and look to the sky for a sign and we prey and pray to either the

Above or to the below we pray and it seems like heaven is now upended and staring back down at us

In suspended belief swathed over us like a cracked glass ceiling…..and its Satan its Satan and all his

Legions and we pray to the devil we worship carnality division and excessive materiality that is our god

Made flesh and we pray and we cover our bodies with strange sigils with symbols and sacred texts from

Above and Below and we prey on our neighbors we erect walls and we shut out our fellow citizen from

The few remaining vestiges of a civilization on the verge of total collapse

 

And Crowley was right he was right do what thou will and whatnot and we advertise our lives our lies

And the kings rule via status updates to unsocial media platforms all of us with unlimited information

Yet so ill-informed its info and info and info injecting your mobile and yet ignorance rains it reigns

Because we are locked in our own constructed echo chambers and we hear nothing but our own

Voice replayed and relayed across the stratosphere and the rockets stand readied and waiting to

deliver their payload and payday is always three days away and the kid needs a coat and the fridge is

on the fritz your bus is late and your boss is waiting and we run and run and run and we never catch

up to the carrot and it’s the news it’s the news it’s the news broadcast in perpetuity attack and

attack and death and destruction and it’s even worse than we thought the timeline has been updated

and the killer struck earlier than initially reported and the death count is higher than formerly described

and death is the only true sovereign in constant command and in constant demand to give the masses

their entertainment

 

 

 

funny to think of Bruce Lee now as I sit amongst piling up reports, spreadsheets and electronic mail

for he was a dragon, level above human

I sit here with sounds filling my ears and reach as far back in my mind as I can

 

I love the devil

Deep down I admire his defiance

He visits me nightly

All anger and sanctification

Whispering to me

Who should I get next?

But it is a trick and it always fools me

And for it he punishes me

But never the same way twice

I am never covetous

I ask only for what I need

But that means I am tasked

With having to bear his weight

I feel it pressing against me

When I’m washing the dinner dishes

When I’m watering the lawn

It never leaves me

Always there, that presence

All anger and sanctification

                                -rg

 

I sit at my workstation covered in bric-a-brac

Contemplating Melchizedek amongst the ornaments and tchotchkes

The sacred geometry is our universe found in a number

A formula sitting on an excel spreadsheet I should be working on

But instead I sit and attempt to wrap my mind through it all

What more for humans than this call a secret frequency some can hear

How do we dial it in on our cerebral antennae

The human heart transmitting a 7-foot wave of electromagnetism

The heart inside us yet as distant as the sun

Each of us are our own sun in some way

A tiny forever breathing and beating in each single soul

The whole key to the universe in the shell of a mollusk

In the eye of the tornado, in the dirty dishwater whirlpooling

In your kitchen sink

 

-love poem

 

When boiling an egg for the woman you love

You must be diligent

Removing tiny little pieces of shell

Under running water

White strands of albumen holding together

Like a smashed windshield

 

Carefully plotting your course

Deliberately removing

Each piece so as not to compromise

The final product

 

As you cautiously select

Each splinter of shell

The beautiful capsule begins to emerge

Its smooth polished finish

Gleaming under clear running water

 

The final shard gives way

You hold the embryo in your palm

Wiping its skin

In a towel of paper

 

Pleased you nestle the cargo

Into her lunch box

And triumphantly

Zip it shut

Monday, November 09, 2009

It felt like a shot to the chest
Like an explosion in my head
Like I was falling
Endlessly
W no ground in sight
Simply a shadow
Of who I thought I was

& my favorite painting
Was once your smile
But now it’s torn
It may take a while
To repaint that masterpiece
At least I hope I can remember
My favorite side of you

& then that night
We were separate, alone & lost
& I became a ghost
Of what I once was
You took a disconnected path
Breaking away

& it never should have took so long
For you to get back
From that other one

Our whole world was crumbling down
& I’d still do anything
To make you smile
Out there lost but now found

It never should have took so long
But now your back
From that other one

But they should have told you
Should have warned you
That I’m always going to be here
I never left
I saw the stranger you became
But now I recognize
The painting that is your smile

& no one is ever going to love you
More than I do
Right now

Welcome Home

Monday, November 24, 2008

The school tells me my son is a lil slow
like I don't know that after watching him grow
for seven aught years
its what some parents fear to ever hear
that a child they have reared is not up to snuff
to some set of standards
I mean I have pandered to jakeys every need since his birth
isnt that worth something?
But let me tell you one thing about that kid
He dreams bigger than you or I ever did
The worlds he designs & populates in his mind
are far greater than any you'll find in any work of fiction
Indulge me now as I make this prediction
He will find his place on this planet
Never take for granted the child you have raised
give him your support, your love, your praise
& as your child navigates the maze
of the years & days that are ahead of him
never let his imagination be dimmed
by the woeful world that will surround him

-written for Jake.....forever my baby boy.......raul

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Autopsies & Magazines
Radiant Child Glow’g Death T.V.
What You Got Is What you Saw
The Decomposing Children Downhall
The Evening Out The Masked Ball
The Elite Trip Over Cloaks & Fall
Poor & Homeless We Seek Together
Ousted Brethren Huddle Heathen
Pagans
The Disco Queens w The
High Heeled Glances
The Crazy Old Women & The Midnight Dancers
The Crips & Bloods & Vato Locos
The Three Child Mom Now Flying Solo
The Policeman Questioning Three Queers
The Hidden Joy Of Open Fears
Rainbows Lollipops
LemonHeads & Dum Dum Drops
The Chico Stix We Steal Away
The Prayer’d Hands At End Of Day
Nuns & Hookers On Bus Stop Corners
Wait For 561 Like Enemy Soldiers
Staring Whites Of Their Eyes
The Smog Filled Air
Below The Bird Fill’d Skies
The Planes & Cars Run’g Away
The Trains On Track w 2 Hour Delays
& Then I Appear To You
This Day In A Display
Of Dressed To Kill Disarray
Laugh’g In The Raining Decay

W a fatal blade
Not Yet

Epithets & Violence

My vile violent
Malcontent

My Lovely
“Soon to never Regret”

W a forget me Knot
Tied tourniquet

Of attire soaked
W/ Lamentations

That fate
Failed
To prevent

In nowhere’s
History

Are my
Footprints
Set

Saturday, August 05, 2006


The Moon was star
-ing
Through a pretend sleep
At me
who below
sketch'dOut,
his weep
6 deep
Is how many
stars there
Are who are down to
Envy Mr. Moon
who subjects
His subjects to gloom
Courtship in kingdom-
Come or even in King-
Domed Seattle's of sordidity
& Life's capital city

Thursday, August 03, 2006

I give you roses
Because you go away
& even yourself

You mask yourself
In imagined innocence
& you hide under hyphened surrender'gs

& re-thought end'gs

For you are in love
& I am nothing
Today nor ever-

More

You mentioned my misanthropy
& my dream'g
Foreverfull

How many moments more
Must I permit you
To exhume your emaciated

Coprse

In hope of a new conclusion
Conceived ocean in size
Of sublimation

Left quietly

& sing'g forever
To children &
Humans alike

En route

To "black against white"
W/ us in company
& incarcerated in

Cell blocks

Of concrete slabs
& construed contaminants
The therapeutics we perscribe

To Ourselves

As self-administered medication
& mid-range rocket drugs
We feed our mindfull

Selves

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Let me start
with a question
Why is Art?

Keep 'em guessin'

Which way is left
and
What is right?

The night was
only half as long
the day we caught sight

Of each other......